Choppers a Go Go

Now last week was definitely a weird one ! - What with it being officially a two day week, or in my case a five night week ! - Riga had an air of a city in absentia. Even the weekend was relatively quiet, although I suspect the village hall was duly mobbed for the two football games on Saturday and Sunday.

Sunday was simply a perfect day, blue skies, warm sunshine - so time for an afternoon in the park, compete with book, followed by a few a few beers (prior to the start of the football!).

As I walked towards the park outside Congress Nams I was confronted with the weirdest selection of "bicycles" that I have ever seen, four wheelers - complete with a cyclist on each corner, back to front tricycles , Tandems with three cyclists ! and bicycles with the longest extended forks I have ever seen. - Take a look for yourselves.

They must have spent hours on these "conversions"

Now moving onto plans for the summer, The smiley fund plan to hold a "barbie" out at Zvannieki sometime in June/July - so to all Smiley fund members please advise what weekend would be good for you, so that we can maximise the attendees. Plan is the same as at Christmas, namely a inclusive charge will be made for food and drinks, with any surplus given to the smiley fund account.

As I may have mentioned I am now forced to earn a few pennies by selling my body at night, however I am not alone, I have a would be Doctor J..., an English teacher S.... ( both from the Indian subcontinent or thereabouts) and three delightful young Russian/Latvian ladies - K......, K... and A...., all with one thing in common they speak excellent English. The three young ladies were all introduced to me by young J... (Irish late evening lecher - with a new found penchant for Gin and Tonic !). Well now I know where he met them, as on Saturday night after we had finished calling our American brethren, they advised that they were off to one of the local night clubs, where the were Go Go dancers - What the young get up to ! for my part the best I could muster was bed a Go Go at that time of night.

This week will bring more of the same - Oh lucky me - but then again when I think of all the people who have to work night shift on a long term basis, I guess I am lucky that for me it is only a short term thing ( I Hope !)

After my walk in the park on Sunday and before I had a few well earned beers, I came across a visiting young cretin standing outside the British Embassy (He was actually Scottish!). Anyhow the poor wee lad had "mislaid" his passport, wallet etc and was seeking assistance of the Embassy. On a Sunday he had to be joking ? - Well Yes and No - The Embassy was of course closed, BUT as was carrying one of those guides to Riga, I remembered that they had published the do's and dont's when visiting Riga along with a telephone number. (NO SUPRISE THAT WAS ONE OF THE PAGES HE HAD NOT READ) So we dialled said number, and of course got an answering machine ! - BUT it did give an emergency number for use by British Citizens only (So none of you Commonwealth types !) and lo and behold a young lady by the name of J.... did answer. The lad was duly advised to go the Police Station on Matiss iela and report it as lost, and then on Monday armed with the police report he could get some kind of emergency travel document from the Embassy, in order that he could fly back to Glasgow on the Monday night.

Now given that there is police station not a 100 yards from the British Embassy, you may wonder why he has to go all the way the Matisa iela, well it appears this is the only police station in Latvia where you can report a lost passport. Having been through this experience a number of years ago, he has my deepest sympathies, as when I went I could not find anyone who spoke English - So as he had no identification, had no idea of his passport details, indeed no idea where he had "lost" the passport etc, in fact knew nothing, except for the fact that he had got somewhat polluted on friday night (Surprise - Surprise) - I can only trust that he managed somehow to get his police report.

Now it transpires that he was one of 26 Scottish "Stag" visitors (the mind boggles!) , and they were all staying at Fun Franks - so perhaps it might be worthwhile for the manager of said establishment F.... ( Australian and basking in Cuban sunshine as we speak) to issue all arriving cretins or at least the British ones) of the Embassy emergency number, 7774700, as if nothing else they will at least get the telephone number of the duty officer, which on Sunday at least was 29221804.

So that was my good deed for the day, and if you ask why, well I am always prepared to help out a visiting cretin, if it ensures he/she does not outstay there welcome ! and I can then enjoy the relative peace and quiet of the village hall for a few days, before the next batch arrives.

Finally a special plea to ALL village, members, a certain young lady who aspires to charm us with her smile, whilst serving beers is suffering from a serious condition of the heart , and apparently there is only one cure - Chocolate.

Apparently this a well know condition "Source: Penn State - 21st January 2002 -led review of the available evidence from 66 published studies, supports the view that consuming chocolate, can be associated with reduced risk for cardiovascular disease. "

So if you wish to help her recover from being heart broken and therefore continue to serve us with our beer, please make sure that you bring chocolate for her - She has indicated the more expensive the chocolate, the better the chance of a full recovery !