Australian Rules - Latvian Times

A strange and wonderful day ! - Last night (Friday) at the ................., the Latvian Australian contingent in Riga convinced the management ( the vertically challenged person of Irish/Cork descent), to open the bar at 8.00am on Saturday morning in order to watch the final of the Australian Rules Football/Rugby/Gaelic football competition ( I am told it is a combination of all) .Apparently it is a big deal in Australia. In the spirit of Internationalism ( and with no thought as to cash profit to be made ?) the wee ( relative statement) fellow agreed.

So with a great deal of effort I dragged myself out of bed at an ungodly time this morning and took myself off to .............., to watch the game, and thereby increase my knowledge of a southern hemisphere sport.

Unreal sight, in I walked to ..................... and there were the Aussies( At least 15-20) with beers in hand, ( In some cases Brandy !!) watching the "GAME". In accordance with Australian tradition one had even brought his own personalised beer cooler.

With my limited knowledge, here are my observations on the rules.

Each team can have 18 player's on the field at any one time
You can kick, punch, throw the ball ( Likewise the opponents)
The ball looks like a Rugby ball, but is Orange !
They wear short sleeves shirts ( just like beach ball players !)
Goal posts like Rugby, but with two outside post to allow for crap kicks (Maximises scoring opportunities)
Kick inside "normal" posts 6 points - inside "outside" posts 1 point
If you catch the ball from a kick, referee blows whistle, and supporters have orgasm !
Pitch looks like cricket pitch ( probably in honour of the famous OVAL ground)
Supporters must shout F..k at every opportunity
For TV - minimum of four commentators required
Game lasts for 120 minutes, four quarters of 25 minutes - with 10/20 minutes breaks for commercials & P..s breaks (see below)
Supporters attending game must consume minimum of 8 pints ( this explains why game has for quarters with associated breaks or as Aussies call them "Piss breaks"


The Latvian/Aussie contingent duly turned up for the game, and immediately took up Aussie time, and duly began to consume the mandatory amount of beer.

For my part and having to no Aussie blood - I drank coffee, much to annoyance of I.... ( the barman) - who was insisting that as he had to be in the bar at 8.00am, he was only going to serve beer. Weird Aussie actually believed him and went across the road to buy take away coffee's.

The game was really exciting.................hmmmmmm............................, unfortunately I had to leave before game ended, but received text message from J.... ( Australian/Latvian who claims to be Australian Consul in Riga) - that " WE "won - so that's OK - presumably "THEY" lost.

( One of the teams were called the "Swans" and the other the "Eagles" - given that Australia has neither( I think) - it does make you wonder !!)

Spotted a new breed of "Cretins" today - Species originated in Indian subcontinent, but recently appeared in Birmingham ( Circa 1920's) , England. Migration path is not fully understood , but have a penchant for Curries/beer - and like to display their manliness by standing up and shouting to each other across a crowded bar, particularly when they leave domestics shores. This is a common factor of all know species of "cretins".

From a weather point of view today today was simply magical - blue skies, and the temperature at 18 Centigrade.

The Old town was wholly taken over by the "Autumn Fair" - ever square was covered by small stallholders selling their goods, and as ever live music brought the place alive. I cannot think of another city that I have visited which comes alive in such an extraordinary way. That combined with simply stunning Autumn weather - what more could you ask for.

I really do wish that I had the words to describe sights and sound of Riga today - but for those you read this all I can suggest is lie back, close your eyes and thinks of a feeling which gives you the greatest pleasure - ( NOT THAT !!) - it is better and is is truly beautiful - For those of you not here - all I can suggest is that as and when - take it all in.

So there we are the end of another Saturday, and if the weather forecast is true then I will make for another walk along the beach tomorrow. - Take care