Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Brits abroad !!

On Saturday evening/Sunday morning a seriously p.....d British male cretin, aged 30, decided to relieve himself. Unfortunately he chose do it on the National freedom monument - Matilda.

Now if I say that Latvians hold this statue in high regard, it would be an understatement, however the really good news was that he was spotted by the local police, and duly banged up.

Unfortunately under Latvian law the maximum sentence is likely to be a fine of Ls 250.00, personally if it was left to me I would lock him up in one Latvia's finest prisons for a lengthy period of time, followed by a period of standing naked at Riga Airport with a plaque hung around his neck indicating to all arriving cretins the consequences of drinking in Riga.

Again this incident, whilst in the great scheme of things, is no major misdemeanour, once again indicates the quality of British (in this case English) cretins that Ryan Air flies into Riga.

And the day he chose to relieve himself - Remembrance Sunday !! - Makes you proud to be British - does it not ?

Now onto more pleasant news, J.... (Irish builder of note) is organising a Christmas dinner for the 14th December, in order to raise money for the Zvannieki home. He (we) are hoping to get about 20+ people for a "traditional Christmas dinner". So to all local readers please let me or J.... know if you would like to attend. Price is likely to be around Ls25.00 per head.

Speaking of Christmas and our annual Smiley appeal, so far it has fallen on deaf ears - we have raised to date absolutely ZERO !!! - so come on you all, send the money (this not a subtle message).

As I have mentioned before Riga, and indeed Latvia, occasionally turns up some unusual realities. None more so than the new building in Dzirnavu iela. Just opposite the relatively new Albert Hotel, where once stood a beautiful, if dilapidated wooden single storey house.

Now the developers in being granted building permission were obliged to ensure that after construction that a wooden house, similar if not identical would be placed on the site.

So they have, albeit five floors up !! -that's right onto of new concrete, steel and glass building, they have built a wooden house - and who said that Latvians have no ingenuity ?

Now to a subject which I mentioned last year, but still intrigues me - Riga's birds and their toiletry habits. Every year at this time great flocks (is that right) of crows arrive (if they do not arrive - where were they all summer ?) and perch in the trees in great numbers. Now of course the trees at this time of the year are devoid of leave. Every night without fail they then proceed to crap from a great height onto the pavements and cars below. My question is WHY ? and why only at this time of the year. Answers to these mysteries of nature will be appreciated.

Just had a thought, about our British cretin, as an additional punishment, instead of standing him naked at Riga Airport, why not stand him naked under the trees on Brivibas iela, where he can gaze at Matilda, and the birds can crap all over him - now that would be a suitable punishment - would it not ?

To finish, as of March next year British Airways will cease to fly to Riga - apparently the route is no longer profitable. Hardly surprising, since they changed the timetable to ensure that it was impossible to interconnect onto international flights from London, thereby ensuring that this traffic went either to KLM or Lufthansa - brilliant marketing. Of course Ryan then proceeded to give them a hard time, with cheap pricing - but to those involved at BA can I offer my congratulations on managing within the space of five years of turning what was one of your most profitable routes into a loss maker -now that takes skill !

Well having got that lot of my chest - I look forward to what I hope will prove to be a cretin free night at De Lacy's - where can I express my thanks to the "wee" man for my seriously discounted drinks last night. Me thinks he read the "disaster in Riga blog"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You deserve to be peed upon by the Brits. You laugh at people talking serious things about toilets and you and your country don't take toilets seriously, that's what you get in return, streets full of pee. Now, don't say you didn't ask for it : -)

3:20 pm  

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