Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A tale of two Soaps

Some time ago I gave as a birthday present a set of smellies, consisting of various soaps and candles, as I knew (hoped) that the Lady concerned enjoyed such things.

For me being the basic kind of man that I am the nearest I have ever got to such things was when they introduced Dove soap some years ago. Prior to this I was a basic Imperial leather, coupled with Old Spice after shave sort of a person. Sophisticated I was not !

However all of this (nearly) changed last week-end when I was out Christmas shopping, I decided to indulge myself in some of these Smellies soaps, just to see if I was missing out on something.

The first thing to note is that all of these soaps are hand made in Latvia, so no mass production. They arrive in what I can only describe as corrugated cardboard box made from I guess recycled paper - in other words basic packaging to reflect the "natural" essence of the soaps.

My choice was random, but transpired to consist of two basic soaps

1. Coconut
2. Leaves and stuff

My first choice to use when soaking in the bath was the coconut, and sure enough it did smell of coconuts, however it had the same texture as that of a coconut shell - and you had to rub like H..l to get the smallest amount of lather (I am a lather sort of a person), and by the time I was finished my skin simply glowed a bright pink, and I smelled like a Bounty Bar - I think Not !

I then moved onto what can be best described as a like a bar of Wrights Coal Tar soap ( You need to be really old to remember this), but mixed with an odd assortment of leaves and bits and pieces picked up from the woods.

No matter how hard I tried I could not get any lather from this one, but when I was finished I was covered in all these little bits of leaves and things - so had to go for a shower to remove said bits from my nether regions. So I fear that the leafy soap was destined for the bin, as I can see no point in using a soap that instead of cleansing the skin, simply adds woodland fallout to my body.

So after this grand experiment in using natural soaps, I think I will stay with the Dove, however I have moved on from the Old Spice, and I am now a Paco Raban man.

Now on the subject of Smellie things - but in this case candles, may I recommend to all Riga Candles Unlimited, a small company run T.. ( American with the loudest laugh in Latvia) and his good Lady. The candles they produce are wonderful, are made from 100% Malaysian Oil, so if you are looking for really nice gift at Christmas suggest you visit SKY or give T.. a call.

Lienes 28, Riga, LV-1009
Phone: 7314770

Now on the subject of cleanliness, I came across this picture below, where it indicated the best position when sitting on the toilet ?? - Why so ? - read on - and you have to use your imagination as to what BM stands for.................

This is the best position for defecation on the American toilet - ( Who says ?)

1. Bend your head forward and down to the position where your head is between your knees. Your back should be as close to parallel to the floor as possible. Your shoulders should touch your knees. Grab your legs between your ankle and knee (the closer you grab to your ankles the better) . Grab your left leg with your left hand and your right leg with your right hand. ( are you with this so far ?)

2. Pull your shoulders down against your knees and BM.
That's it. By bending forward and placing your head between your knees you effectively straighten the tube out. By pulling your shoulders down you cause muscles to contract that aid in elimination.

You will feel the difference this position makes. You may notice that up to TWICE AS MUCH BM comes out this way. Not only does more come out, it comes out faster and easier. You should ALWAYS BM like this. NEVER BM sitting straight up on a toilet.

If you are really interested and want too read the whole unexpurgated version go check out the site ! - Only in America !


And finally - another little known fact about Latvia

The first decorated Christmas tree originated in Riga, Latvia in 1510, according to legend. In fact, it was Martin Luther, of the 95 Theses, who came up with the idea of decorating a pine tree with candles after walking through a forest in Riga and seeing the moonlight reflecting on pine trees.

So there we go another day - another blog - off to the UK tomorrow so no more until I get back - but in the meantime do not forget our fundraising for the children - so far we have raised Ls165.00


Blogger Bruce Holland Rogers said...

"So I fear that the leafy soap was destined for the bin, as I can see no point in using a soap that instead of cleansing the skin, simply adds woodland fallout to my body."

Thank you for that. I teach a writing seminar in Greece each spring, and I brought back several bars of olive-oil soap. The plain soap is lovely, but one variety is full of bits of olive leaves, as an exfoliant. Or maybe they mean defoliant, since the next step after getting debris in your hair is to cut the hair off.

It would be great if you'd have a look at my web site, www.shortshortshort.com. I'd love to have a reader in Latvia!

8:07 am  

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